I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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