I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
