do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
