the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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