Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
