Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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