my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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