ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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