wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
