She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
