Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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