i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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