Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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