Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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