the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
