he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
