Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
