i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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