I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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