My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
