Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
