no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
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