i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
