for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
