but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
