Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
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