Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
