just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize