better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
