How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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