WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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