Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
