Whod you bang
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
