what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
