Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
