dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
