How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
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