it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
