U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
