im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
