forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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