HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
