okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize