I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize