you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize