Your dad touched me again.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
