I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
