Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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