yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
