i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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