This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize