We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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