ugly people sure do ruin things
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
