Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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